How to Win Friends and Influence People Book Summary
Dale Carnegie has written one of the most lastingly and easily applicable books to help you grow as a person. This is one of the most beloved books in the business and self-help world and about human nature in general. It’s one of the best-selling books of all time for a reason.
I highly recommend you go read the entire book as it’s full of the complete information along with tons of great examples of great people who really use these methods. This is just a brief summary of the main points to help you better understand and remember for the full book review.
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Part 1- Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
Chapter 1
Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain to people. Focus on being positive instead of anything negative. And use encouragement and sincere compliments whenever possible.
Chapter 2
Give other people honest and sincere appreciation. Even if it’s about the slightest improvement, people thrive on compliments and appreciation when they’re sincere. Avoid superficial flattery.
Chapter 3
Try to arouse an eager want in others. You have to bait the hook in order to attract the fish. Whether in one-on-one conversation or public speaking, this is a sure way to hold other’s attention and influence a person’s opinions.
Part 2- Ways to Make People Like You
Chapter 1
The first principle to be a good conversationalist is to be genuinely interested in other people. Don’t use the word “I” so much and ask others about their experiences or interests. It also helps to do considerate things for them, even just remembering their birthday or telling them you admire something about them.
Chapter 2
The most important part of making a good first impression and starting relationships is to smile. Even if you don’t feel happy, force yourself to smile. Smiling and feeling happy is all about your thoughts rather than your circumstances.
Chapter 3
One of the most important things you can do is remember a person’s name. Make sure to get someone’s name, say it or spell it correctly, and use it in conversation.
Chapter 4
To be a great conversationalist, you have to be a good listener. Encourage other people to talk about themselves including their own ideas and show your interest in them. Actively listen without interrupting or changing the subject to be about yourself, and actually try to have an open mind.
Chapter 5
When you’re talking with others, make a point to talk about that person’s interests without bringing up your own interests. If you can find out what their interest are before talking with them.
Chapter 6
Make the other person feel important. You can do this by combining all the other principles, giving compliments, or talking about them instead of you. But make sure to do it sincerely.
Part 3 How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking
Chapter 1
Avoid arguments at all costs because even if you win, you lose. All you get from winning is someone else’s bad will. No one likes to lose.
Chapter 2
Never tell someone they’re wrong. You’ll never convince someone they’re wrong by telling them that. Respect their opinions and listen to what they have to say even if you know they’re wrong.
Chapter 3
Admit when you’re wrong as soon as possible. Rebuke yourself to someone before they have the chance to do it to you.
Chapter 4
Always begin in a friendly way. Use gentleness and kindness instead of arguing or attacking, even if the other person is clearly at fault.
Chapter 5
Get the other person saying “yes” immediately. Focus on what you have in common not what you don’t.
Chapter 6
Let the other person do a great deal of the talking. Most people don’t want to hear about you or what you have to say. A lot of times, if you let the other person keep talking, they’ll come to the same conclusion on their own.
Chapter 7
In order to get cooperation, let the other person feel that the ideas was their own. No one likes being told what to do or forced into something.
Chapter 8
Sincerely try to see things from the other person’s point of view. Even if they’re wrong, try to put yourself in their shoes.
Chapter 9
Be sympathetic to everyone. Everyone is constantly looking for sympathy. Even if you don’t agree or find the other person insulting, try to be sympathetic.
Chapter 10
Always assume people’s motives are noble. Assume the other person is honest and sincere.
Chapter 11
It’s a good idea to dramatize your ideas. Usually this means by visually showing them in a compelling way to better influence people. Tv shows, movies, and advertisements do it all the time.
Chapter 12
Give others a challenge. Good hearted competition is one of the best motivators for people. Everyone has a desire to excel and achieve a feeling of importance.
Part 4 How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment
Chapter 1
Start your interaction with sincere praise and appreciation. Be sincere about it, too, without being a people pleaser. People will receive criticism better if they first receive praise.
Chapter 2
Only point out people’s mistakes indirectly. No one likes to take a direct blow. They’re much more likely to change and not get offended.
Chapter 3
Point out your own mistakes first before citing others mistakes. Explain things you have done wrong or struggled with before because a recital of your faults will make the other person feel better about their own.
Chapter 4
Don’t give direct orders when possible, even if it’s your first reaction. People don’t like being told what to do. Try asking questions or giving polite suggestions that cater to the other person’s ideas.
Chapter 5
Let the other person save face. This allows you to show respect that the other person will remember. No one does better work after being scolded or reprimanded in front of others.
Chapter 6
Praise others improvements often and try not to criticize. Everyone works better with positive reinforcement compared to the opposite technique. Ability will wither under criticism.
Chapter 7
Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to. Once they hear the reputation, they’ll want to live up and exceed it.
Chapter 8
When others struggle or make errors, make the faults seem easy to fix. And use a lot of encouragement when you do it.
Chapter 9
Make the other person happy about what you’re asking to do. Convey what the other will benefit from the request.
A Necessary Read for Everyone
Reading this very straightforward book is one of the best way to make better relationships, grow as a person, and excel in social interactions, whether it’s in business or personal life. It’s a simple way to help yourself grow this year. You can now read my full review here.
You can find the book here.
